At the age of 21 I found myself single for the first time in my life, after a rather tumultuous relationship with not a particularly great guy.
I had never been dumped before and had never experienced the wave of what can only be described as irrational emotions. Emotions that cause you to spend a week trying to get back a guy you didn't particularly like as a person and had tried to leave on a number of occasions in the preceding months...
I can't even recall what I felt during those 7 days but it certainly wasn't happiness.
To add insult to injury, I had an impending trip to the Gold Coast (for TWO) that my ex had somehow managed to convince me to pay for.
Instead of cancelling the trip and sitting at home feeling sorry for myself (or attempting to go out with my girlfriends and meet guys that seemed to pale in comparison) I bit the bullet and went ahead with the trip. Changing my luxurious outer-city accommodation to a hip hotel in the height of the Surfers Paradise frivolity.
This was a turning point.
I spent a week partying and making new friends (not something that occurs easily on domestic holidays within Australia, more aligned with the sort of experience you would have backpacking through Europe). This experience reignited a passion within me. A passion to fraternise with new people, have unadulterated fun and feel good about myself.
I slowly started to realise that my ex boyfriend had been emotionally abusive (on occasion physically abusive) and had sucked every ounce of self-esteem, self-respect and self-discovery out of what was once a young, vibrant, extremely confident and popular young girl. The sort of girl none of my friends or family would have ever expected to be shrouded and manipulated by a boy...I guess that's why none of them knew it was happening. But trust me, it was abundantly clear in that week post-break up when I had lost the being that I had succumb to and in effect become merely a part of, and was left barely a husk of a girl.
Most importantly, it had become clear to me. That is the most important part. You have to realise yourself, what has happened to you, in order for you to rectify it and become who you used to be.
This blog is a retrospective recount of the 2 years I spent single after this point, and the chronology of events that lead to me becoming not only the person I used to be but 40x the person I ever thought I could be.
This is proof that chain reactions can set your life on a course you never contemplated for yourself and result on you becoming so much more than you had ever imagined. Pre-this boyfriend, I thought I was capable of just about anything and would have a pretty great life. The period of time I was with him, who knows what I thought my life would be like. I had become a sub-being of him, not contemplating what my life could be, should be or was. Post-single time, my life is inexplicable. I am 100x the woman I ever thought I could be, with 100x the experiences and the most amazing people in my life who are a testimony every day to the sort of person I am in return.
The people in your life are one of the most obvious measure of what sort of person you are. If you have fantastic, zany, gorgeous, amazing people in your life who appreciate who you are and enjoy every minute they spend with you, you know you're doing something right...
Stay tuned for what happened post-Gold Coast epiphany.
In the meantime, live like there's no tomorrow, love like you've never been hurt and dance like nobody is watching xx